Day 28

I saw my first sign of non infected human life today, not that it was anything to get excited about because they were vulgar animals that i wouldn't even piss on if they were on fire. Why am I so angry? Because they where gang raping a female zombie. I saw it from outside my bedroom window, at first I thought i was hearing voices, but they were too distinct to put down to my mind playing tricks on me. I walked to the window and quietly opened it, while trying to keep as much of my body out of view as possible. There were 3 of them, one was standing guard with a hunting rifle, another to hold down the zombie and keep her head forced face down on the pavement and the 3rd to climb on and rape her from behind. Have we really lost all remains of civilization that we have now become barbaric animals? This is the sort of thing you hear about in medieval times, its beyond sick. They were down there laughing and joking, like it was something they do every day.
Had the female population been completely wiped out? If so wouldn't this mean that us as humans are now the final generation of man? Without women, we are completely useless, how can we repopulate, start over, continue our domination as the leading species on this planet if we have no women? I just hope that these rapists didn't use a condom so they could catch the virus and then it would fuck them. I recognised one of them, his face was familiar, I couldn't put my finger on it, I must have either worked with him or seen him on a night out, which would mean he was just another normal average Joe, living his life as an ordinary tax paying citizen, and to be reduced to this, just goes to prove we can never trust anyone or know who people really are.

I just wanted to pop a hole in each of their heads, however they were too far away and I didn';t want to risk missing them and causing a firefight. Soon enough, they each had a go at raping the zombie, which to be honest I actually felt real sympathy for, even as a zombie you need to have some sort of respect, know your boundaries and do not cross the line. If those men could resort to a deed this low, there is no telling what they are capable of. After the last guy finished, they blew her brains out all over the pavement, the first one stood over her and pissed all over her back, laughing at his achievement. They then walked off as if nothing had happened.

I felt sick, absolutely appalled at what I just witnessed, I just hope, pray that there are some women out there, still alive and not being used as sexual currency. Our continued existence relies on them.

Day 27

Yesterday I was on a high for making it out and returning with a bag full of goodies to keep me alive, today I have come down from that high because the supplies I have returned with are not really a long term solution. Living off fizzy drinks and pub snacks are by no means healthy or suitable for long term living. The long term solution isn't really better unless I have a field to grow crops or a powered freezer to hold as many steak joints it could hold, so I guess you could say I am screwed either way.

I have noticed a lot more activity outside the flat in the last few days, it's probably safe to say that I have drawn them back here, but they don't seem to be showing any intention of breaking in to investigate further. They are still aimlessly wandering about lost within the limited shield of intelligence the virus leaves them in. That said I don't want to give them any reason to trigger that switch in their brain to decide they want to come up and get me. So no shooting out the window or screaming at them to get lost and leave us alone. I can still sense activity next door, my neighbor is probably starving his ass off in there, he hasn't managed to get out yet, but his muscles could have already wasted away to the point where standing up is impossible. That is of course an assumption, there is no telling how quickly the rate of decay works on the infected, after all they are not entirely dead, so there could be a chance that the decomposition cycle is slowed or non existent all together.

We are still waiting on feedback from this scientist who plans to publish his findings on the research of captured specimens. He could be dead by now, or has nothing to report, but no news is good news. I still stand to my original statement that no new research is going to solve the worldwide outbreak, but just learning more about them and the biology is interesting to know.

Day 26

Today's post is late I know, I am suffering from an afternoon hang over. I had a big day yesterday to which I nearly didn't make it home, so with all the supplies i managed to bring home I had a little feast on pub snacks and swilled it all down with Jack Daniels and coke. I really got pissed last night almost to the point of puking, but I didn't care, it was well deserved and went down like a Thai Hooker. So on reflection how do I feel about yesterdays venture outside? Well for most of the day I was in shock, I hadn't actually realised how 7 hours had passed in what felt like an instant. I sat there in a trance locked within time, only to snap out of it when I heard the undead calling out in the night air. I suffered the full force of so many emotions at once that my brain could not decode and handle the data it was being forced with, so this not only caused me to break down in an uncontrollable emotional wreak on the floor, but some how rebooted my brain sending it into lock down.
It was a weird experience to try and explain, you know how you are faced with direct danger, fear or panic and you feel that times spreads out into a longer thread making seconds feel like minutes? Well after I got home yesterday and reality smacked me in the face I suffered the reverse effect where hours compressed down into seconds, I have no recollection of the time in between going into the trance and coming out of it. I guess it was my minds own way of dealing with the trauma of facing an extreme situation. I came very close to getting bitten and it scared me to death. I was very cocky up to that point, I started to get a feeling of invincibility because all the zombies I encountered paid no attention to me and I felt like I could walk passed them without being noticed, but it wasn't true. They had been so used to their own company that they had forgotten what live meat looked like until one walked right passed them and triggered them to attack.  Some of them followed me home, I have noticed a few more of them downstairs however I doubt they tracked me all the way here, unless they can detect my scent or something.

I try to ignore what is happening outside because I now have some fresh drinks and lots of pub snacks, its not recommended to have for dinner or breakfast, yet its food and will keep me alive. The Jack Daniels is a luxury bonus and I plan on saving the rest for when I have a down day. It is amazing how much deeper you start to think when you are drunk, I started to get emotional because I missed Robyn, and wanted her back, then I started to get upset because it dawned on me that my Mother, my sister and all my friends were dead as well, not something I thought about before. You don't appreciate how isolated you really are until you survive in your own personal hell with nobody around to help you. Remember when you were at school as a young child and you did something wrong and got sent to the heads office? you would sit outside the door waiting for it to open and having to face the wrath of an enraged headteacher. That's the lonely isolation I kind of mean, you are on your own, stuck, nobody is there to help you and you know its only a matter of time before that door opens. That is what I feel like all the time, but I kind of have more control of how I deal with it. You live, you survive and you take control of your own destiny, sure you can give up and let the infected take control of you, or you can beat them and beat the elements, fight for your own worth, and eventually you will be rewarded. You just need faith, strength and hope.

Day 25

Today marked a huge new step for my own personal survival story and I can confirm I have been outside and I made it back alive. There is a lot to explain about what happened today, however I did manage to record a lot of good video footage. So in a nutshell, going outside is scary, its dangerous and in all honesty best avoided by everyone. If you live on the road, I can probably guess that your chances of long term survival really has a low percentage. There is nowhere safe to hide only safer, those things just appear out of nowhere without warning and it does not take long to get a group of infected interested in your position. So enough of the introduction, watch the below video and allow me to explain in more detail what happened today...

I woke up this morning aching with tension and fear, it was mixed in with hunger which didn't help. It probably took me 2 hours to finally pluck up the courage to open the door and walk out. When my front door opened, a vacuum of fresh air filtered into the flat replacing the smell of stale sweat and body odor. I was expecting a wall of the undead ready to spring onto me and put an end to my trip before it began. I was actually surprised by the lack of anything, just complete silence. After getting down to the 1st floor I noticed the barricade was going to be tricky to bypass, luckily enough the window led out to the ground floor overhang which meant I could climb out and down, I checked that It was possible for me to climb back up again before jumping and it seemed that I could manage it fine. The infected are very weak and slow, so they would find it impossible to climb up after me if they chased me home. Finally hitting ground after 2 and a half weeks captivity felt very good, there was a sense of freedom for me as I no longer remained within the confines of my flat. This feeling of elation was quickly replaced with going out of the frying pan and into the fire due to the dangers awaiting me.
I started walking quietly towards the town centre and again felt very surprised by the lack of anything living or dead for that matter. I could hear the cries and moans of the infected far in the distance, yet the closer I got to town the louder the undead became. My guard was naturally up and any noise or sound would spark me into panic and the first thing that made me jump was a bunch of pigeons that sprung out in front of me. As I reached the first T junction to my right I found the army barricade. It was deserted, just an Army Jackal, some tents, barriers and a few dead soldiers.
I kept thinking about what I said a few days ago about zombies being in hibernation until someone living comes past and trapping them as they got too close, however these dead soldiers had weapons which were very valuable tools of survival, too valuable to ignore. I tried not to get too close to the heads, and very quietly eased myself in front of them. I noticed they both had their SA80 rifles gripped in their hands which seemed dangerous to try and pull away from them. I was in luck because laying on the floor behind one of them was a fully loaded pistol, so I picked it up very quickly and backed off. These guys really must have been completely dead as they showed no signs of life, I didn't want to push my luck so I continued on.

I walked past a lot of dead bodies, they were swarming with flies and I could not even describe the smell, it actually triggered my gag reflex and almost caused me to puke, that is what being dead for 2 weeks in the sun will do to a dead body. As expected I finally bumped into my first living dead up close, it was a disgusting site, one of its arms was missing, it had one leg and the foot from his other leg was chewed off. I can honestly say that I was actually petrified, it looked up at me and reached out with its only arm, I felt sorry because he was in such a weak and disabled state that there was no possible way for it to get up and chase after me.

I continued on my way, eventually coming to the very center of town, this area had been hit hard by bombs and mortar attacks. I managed to stay hidden as I noticed a group of zombies staggering around aimlessly, some were attracted to a dead body the rest seemed to be so lost in their own mental state that they probably had the memory of a gold fish. I decided that walking around really wasn't productive and had to find somewhere with supplies fast. I was in luck and that surprised me how easy it was to find somewhere, those supplies where that of the weatherspoon pub. The front door was unlocked and open, this pretty much indicated to me that they were open when the outbreak hit critical level and either died with everyone else or fled, leaving the pub open.
I walked inside trying to be vigilant and found that there was nobody inside, yet everything was stocked up as if they had just opened. Naturally I didn't waste any time so I jumped over the counter and filled my backpack with pub snacks such as crisps, pork scratchings, peanuts and all the usual things. I also took down a large bottle of Jack Daniels, I mean its nice to get drunk every now and again even in these circumstances, not to mention I couldn't afford a large bottle of Jack before so I may as well treat myself. I knew that the pub had a kitchen so I decided to have a look out back for anything, I was actually disappointed because most of the food was refrigerated and needed cooking, a luxury I no longer had available to me. I could already smell the foul stench of spoiled food so decided against wasting my time looking for anything more. I came back out into the bar area and filled my bag with bottled drinks such as coke, red bull and lemonade, it would be nice to enjoy something fizzy other than week old bath water. So while I was there I sat down and ate a bag of crisps and drank down a bottle of coke, it really was amazing I felt energy fill my veins and charge me back up again.
I took a quick walk up to the office area and apart from paperwork and stuff like that there was a laptop on top of the filing cabinet, so of course I packed that into my bag too. Finally I decided that the pub had given me everything worth taking, not to mention my bag was starting to get heavy so I didn't want to get weighed down to the point that I couldn't make a break for it if things turned bad. That unfortunately was a thought that actually came true shortly after.

I started to walk towards home and as I walked past Boots, I didn't even notice a zombie in the doorway, it was my own mistake for not looking around properly and the damn thing sprung into life, hissing and groaning for me. He was only a few feet away and in full strike mode, the only thing I could do at that moment was pull the gun out I found earlier and take a shot. I took a panicked aim at its head and pulled the trigger. The sound was a deafening crack, it made my ears ring, however it paid off because the zombie fell to the floor like a sack of spuds. I quickly realised that I had made a big mistake because every zombie in the area snapped around to my position and then began to close in on me. I started to run down the street as fast as I could to gain ground on them, and it seemed to me that every zombie in Stevenage was alerted to my presence. I turned the corner where the blockade was and quickly started to head home, not looking back I believed that I may have lost them.

From that moment on I didn't bump into anymore of them, my body was pumping with adrenalin and I really wasn't concentrating on my surroundings again as all I wanted to do was get back safe. When I arrived at the flats I walked around to the back and climbed up the drain pipe onto the roof of the overhang then back through the window. At that moment I just collapsed onto the floor and took about 10 minutes to catch my breath. I was in shock, exhausted and pretty shook up with what happened and to be fair was pretty unreal for the best of us to have to endure. I finally found the energy to pick myself up and climb those painfully exhausting stairs to get to my level. As soon as I reached my flat, I staggered in completely covered in sweat, heart pumping like crazy and finally collapsed on the sofa. I let out a big breath of air and burst into tears, it really had been an emotional day. I put the gun down, took off the backpack and glugged down a few generous mouthfuls of Jack Daniels, it was a toast to my admirable feat in surviving the undead to keep me alive in my flat a few weeks longer.

I will update you all later, but right now i just want to lie down and count my blessings that i made it home alive.

Day 24

So hungry, I haven't eaten a decent meal since last week, and the rationing came to an end 2 days ago when the last of the corn flakes had gone. I didn't think it would bother me as much, but it really does, I can hear my belly rumble all the time and I feel really uncomfortable, can't concentrate or relax properly. I feel that tomorrow is going to be the day that I finally brave the elements. I still have the strength to do it, my fitness has started to keep my body in check so tomorrow I will venture outside and look for whatever supplies I can. The most important is food and water, additional is batteries and laptops, finally I will keep my eye open for any weapons. I will be taking my video camera with me to document what happens. I will try to keep it rolling as long as possible, however trying to juggle a camera, and avoid the infected may be a tricky task. If I don't make it back then maybe nobody will ever see what happens, you will know I didn't make it back as this blog will cease to exist past this day.
I will try not to let that happen, I just have to remember to keep quiet and keep out of sight. Those things can't run, so I should be able to just walk right past them, providing I don't get cornered of surrounded by a group.

There really isn't much for me to say today as being hungry really does take up all your concentration and I haven't been able to think or do anything else. I am just trying to mentally and physically prepare myself for tomorrow. Going to stay positive and believe that I can return home alive with everything on my list, optimism can be a powerful mental weapon, it can also however turn around and kick you in the face when things don't go your way, so I am just going to keep an open mind and see what will happen.

Day 23

Hello everyone, on the backup laptop today, 5 minutes after closing yesterdays blog the old laptop finally died. Without this spare I wouldn't be here today to continue this blog, which is a bad thing. Its not all good news though, this old laptop has the same issue that all ion lithium powered batteries have, and that is if they are plugged in to the wall all the time with the battery attached they eventually kill out the batteries power life. So when we first bought it, the laptop battery could last 3 hours independently, now it only lasts up to 2, so whatever I write here needs to be quick and brief, well until I get a chance to raid PC World or the apple store.

I am starting to get a bit of a grizzly beard going here, without owning an electric razor and having to store the remaining water for drinking only, it kind of became apparent that I would end up growing one. I tried doing a dry razor shave and it hurt like a bitch, having open cuts at the moment where the air seems to hold viral dangers, it just seemed easier to let it be. I guess going medieval has its benefits in some ways, you start appreciating the little things more like reading a book, on paper and not pdf, enjoying ambient candle light instead of fine tuned bulb light, you get the general idea.

I saw a news post about some scientist from Cambridge had spent the last week studying captured infected, all I kept thinking about was professor Frankenstein and Bub from Day of the dead. He is trying to study the biology of the zombie, how it can be killed and finally a vaccine to the virus. Well he can save working out how they, die, because for one they are already dead and secondly everyone knows that you have to disable the brain. As for a vaccine, well who needs a cure when everyone is dead? I added his website to my favorites list, he hasn't produced anything new that we all don't know about, however I am interested in his theory on how the dead can reanimate with the brain being the only working organ.

I swear I heard a military jet fly over this morning, I was a sleep and it shook me awake, I could have been dreaming, but it was very clear, I tried to look out the window, but couldn't see anything. If it really did fly over, then that must indicate there is a some sort of working military. I just hope they are able to multiply and deploy effectively.

Day 22

Hello fellow survivors, I hope you are all well, or as well as can be expected. I cannot believe it is 8 days away from being a month since all this started, the time has dragged painfully slow and the worst part is that there is no real light at the end of the tunnel. In fact the only goals any of us have  to look forward to is to stay alive and stay in protective shelter, without food or water our safe haven could turn into our tombs. I have been blessed with enough food to last me up until now, however the last of the cornflakes are gone. All I have left is ketchup, mayo, vinegar and general things that are only edible with proper food. It has now reached make or break time for me, I can only wait out a few more days before I start to get weak from hunger and any chance of being in fit shape to make my way around will slowly diminish.

Remember the soldier I told you about downstairs? I said I would go down and search him for any weapons, unfortunately for me that plan is out the window, as I looked outside this morning and he is gone. He doesn't appear to have been eaten as there is no trace of him, he literally must have got up and walked off. I think this must be some side effect of being an infected zombie, he must have been in some sort of hibernation state, only moving when stimulated by a nearby human presence or noise. The other alternative is more scary to think about, and that is being a zombie lure trap. He could have been just waiting for someone to walk up to him and get close enough to snap up and bite or trip them over. I hope I am wrong with that assumption because that would mean they are getting smarter, using proper hunting tactics in order to win a meal.
Either way it means that I have to avoid any close contact with dead bodies, I do not want to give them the satisfaction of just grabbing me because I started getting careless. That said if I do see any army or police lying next to a fire arm, I just might have to take the risk, it may be the only risk I will chance. If I start taking too many risks then I start to get cocky, then when I get too cocky I will become careless which usually always results in death.
Assess the situation, does the risk outweigh the reward? If so then just hope the gods are looking down on you. Sometimes you really do just have to roll the dice and see what you get. The laptop battery is now down to 5% and I am getting shutdown warnings so I have to go now, tomorrow I will be on Robyn's old laptop so I just hope the battery on that lasts as long as this one. Keep in touch everyone, Goodnight and god bless.

Day 21

You must be wondering why I'm online when I said yesterday that I wouldn't be on due to my laptops low battery. Well after looking through the house I found one of Robyn's old laptops and as luck would have it, the battery was fully charged. With a spare backup laptop on standby I am going to spend the next few days using up the last of the battery on the main laptop before using the old one. With that I decided to do some Internet browsing to check up on news and message boards posted by other survivors. It really does not look good for mankind, we have been put on the endangered species list, next to the tigers. The whole world is completely infected with the virus, there are no safe places to hide and it looks like any rescue is not going to happen any time soon. It is also reported that remote parts of the world such as deserts and jungles are the only real places that give anyone a fighting chance. The heat of the desert speeds up the decomposition cycle, meaning the zombies deteriorate at a much faster rate. Unfortunately for me living in rural Britain, where its cold and rainy means we have more of a challenging time of things. On the flip side, living in the desert is probably not much better as the lack of clean safe water probably faces survivors with a problem of thirst and dehydration.

It is also reported that we still have a limited military presence here in the UK, they are trying to keep them out of direct contact with the infected due to the huge loss of life that sweeped the country in the first week of the outbreak. Our Prime Minister, David Cameron's whereabouts are unknown, we don't know if he was evacuated safely or perished with the millions of other poor souls in this Country. I don't really care if he made it out or not because he no longer has a working Government and there really isn't much he can do as a person or leader of this country to set things right.

The Borden is really getting me down, now so much so that I took the wall clock down. The time seems to move ever so slowly that a minute seems like 10 minutes and an hour is like half a day. It also doesn't prove useful having a clock either as time has no relevance anymore. We don't have to go to work, arrange to meet up with friends or organise our lives by the time, all that matters is that its daytime then night time.

I am going to tuck into a bowl or two of dry corn flakes, all the canned food is gone, so I am only down to dry cereal now, and even that is low. Will be back tomorrow hopefully on this laptop, which will probably only have enough battery for one more blog, two if I'm lucky.

Days 19 & 20

Sorry for my lack of posts the last few days, my laptop batter is down to 20% and I am trying to use it sparingly. I have now decided that in the next few days, possibly Friday I will try to make it outside for a supply run. I am now in a catch 22 situation, if I go outside there is a high probability that I will get killed, however if I stay indoors I will die anyway. The food I have is now getting very low, rationing is making it last, but being hungry all the time and assuming that any remaining food outside will eventually get looted has been playing on my mind. I am surprised at the lack of infected I see roaming outside, from what you see in the films, you always see hordes of them lining up outside a building where survivors are held up. I started to think about it and looking back to when this all started, people were being told to stay indoors or risk of being shot by the military would be the result. So this concludes that most of the people who turned would have been indoors at the time of reanimation. As I stated in an earlier post that the infected show limited intelligence so something as simple as unlocking and opening a door would be a challenging task even for the most switched on zombies.
The dead that are found wandering the streets most likely died while outside or actually managed to open their front doors. This of course doesn't make my task any easier when I go out as we really do not know enough about them to understand how to avoid or deal with them when they attack. My first port of call is the dead soldier downstairs if he is carrying a weapon then It will be important to my survival if I plan on making it back inside. After messing around with various house hold items I couldn't make any real effective weapons, none that didn't include me getting within arms length of the infected, if I'm honest stealth and keeping quiet will be my main weapon. It won't be easy, but no more easier than standing there with a fully automatic machine gun and blasting everyone of them to hell.

For dinner yesterday I suffered more of those horrendous raw beans, to a point where I was almost sick and forced myself to finish the tin. Today I have some cold corned beef to enjoy today, I don't even like corned beef, Robyn bought that for her. Food is food I suppose, however I try to look at it, even if it tastes disgusting or makes me feel sick, the irony is it is keeping me alive.

I have been trying to keep fit over the last week, I am not a gym sort of person, haven't ever really kept fit before and to be completely honest I am a fat pavement cruncher, so the lack of all my luxuries, computers and general lazy household items I have enjoyed up until now has actually forced me to keep busy by keeping fit. It will no doubt aid me when I am out dealing with those things, as someone who is toned and fit will have a better chance of surviving. I won't lie to you, I am knackered, my bones, muscles and joints ache like hell, but at least I can get to sleep.

Okay My battery has dropped to 15% and I am getting a low battery alert pop up on my screen so I will be logging off, I will try to record a video diary tomorrow, upload it and just switch off again, so keep posted and keep safe.

Day 18

Can you guess what I had for dinner today? A can of cold beans, it was pretty grim and I had to force myself to eat them. Living in these conditions are no joke, just wish I spent more time watching Bear Grylls doing his survival TV shows. That said It hasn't got that bad I need to drink my own piss yet, if only they told him the cameraman had a can of tango in his bag, then he probably wouldn't have slurped down on the warm golden necter. If you hadn't noticed I am trying to be jolly today, morale is down and I need to raise my hopes and try to think positive. As I have had time to reflect, and time is one thing I am not short of, trying to jump out of the window really was a stupid idea. I have come this far, quitting now would be an insult to Robyn's memory. She would have stopped me even considering it, so I am trying to keep busy to take my mind off of whats really happening in the world. Opening the fridge was a treat to the sinuses, week old warm meat and milk really was an unpleasant smack in the face. I almost threw up all over myself, but managed to hold it in (it took ages to eat those beans, I wasn't going to lose them now.) I emptied all the spoilt food into a bag and chucked it out the window. The car park downstairs is starting to collect a hell of a lot of litter, rubbish and poo, I really do not look forward to walking through all of that, the smell alone is deadly enough.

Now the fridge is clean I am going to look around the flat to see if there is anything I can make into a weapon. I used to love chemistry at school and I think I have enough household chemicals to make some improvised explosives. Just wish I had some potassium nitrate to create some fuses. In fact it's probably best to leave the home made bombs, not a very good idea to keep in the house in case they go off, not to mention they make a lot of noise. I may be able to make some melee or stabbing weapons, either are only useful at close range and I plan to keep those infected much further away than arms reach. Going to log off and get some work done, will try to post earlier tomorrow, saying that after tomorrow I may have to hold of posting for a few days to save battery, I will obviously post if something important happens, but for the next few days I will be saving battery. Keep safe everyone, hope to meet some of you at one of the evacuation centres.

Day 17

I am not feeling too good today, it's nothing to do with the infection, I just feel so withdrawn, tired and generally exhausted. I guess being alert all the time and generally sitting around is starting to have some sort of psychological affect on me. I am trying to keep active and my mind stimulated, however it is very limited when there is no power and being restricted to just this flat. Its stressing me out a lot being in here, imprisoned in my own home with limited food, hardly any entertainment, slowly dying batteries and no real guarantee of rescue. I need a full meal, I need a cigarette and I need my wife back. I am starting to question my own mental state, not an easy task when you are trying to self medicate, but I feel some morale boosting is needed. I need a goal or even just a little bit of hope that there is an end to all this terror that has gripped the world. Last night I had to actually stop myself from jumping out of the window, I actually wanted to put a stop to this and be with my wife, I was there for about 10 minutes just trying to push myself forward, but a small piece of my own sanity prevented me from doing it. First I have a fear of heights so suicide from jumping really probably didn't help and secondly I am on the 12th floor which really is high enough to kill, but I kept thinking about what if I only badly injured myself? I would be left in pain outside in the cold with absolutely no rescue to come to my aid and pretty much just lie there for the infected to crowd round and eat me alive, that is a fate worse than death.

After checking through my food and general supplies I have worked out that unless some miracle happens within the next 5 days or so I will have to go outside and look for whatever I can find. Laptop battery is down to 65% food is getting low and the water I have stored in the bath and sinks are starting to get low. I have designated one sink to use only for washing, and that is starting to get pretty grim now. I would actually be making myself dirty just by using it, so it looks like I have to stop washing until I can find a fresh source of water.

Very concerned about the noise I am making, it seems very clear to me that my neighbor has defiantly turned into a zombie and can now be heard scratching at the wall. He seems completely unaware of how to open his front door so this virus turns you into complete vegetables. As dumb as they all are, underestimating them would be a grave mistake, they are still very dangerous creatures and capable of unthinkable aggression. Looking out the window again, the dead soldier is still there untouched and not changing. I couldn't see his rifle, however I can only assume all soldiers were issued with a pistol. I need to make sure I check him over if its safe enough to do so, having a gun would make all the difference in this outbreak. I wouldn't need to get so close to them and try to fight them off with a bat. The drawback is guns make noise, and noise attracts more of them. If I do use a fire arm it really must be fired when I really have no other choice or get cornered. Anyone else with guns walking down the street randomly shooting at any zombie they find is foolish. They do not have enough bullets in the world to kill all of them and the chances are they will run out of ammo when they need it the most.

I managed to get a video of the soldier, have a look...

Day 16

I am a bit drunk at the moment, the home made wine I have been brewing really does know how to hit the spot. I noticed a dead soldier downstairs a few days ago and I think he may be of some use. If he has his weapons on him I may be able to take them and use them for my own protection. The infected do not seem bothered about using weapons so I can only assume they will just ignore them and continue on their endless rampage searching for living flesh. I decided to do a video blog to try and save laptop battery power, then I heard a noise. From what I could tell my neighbor has turned into one of them, I could hear him clear as day, moaning and clawing at the wall. Not sure if he knows I am alive here, but it means I really need to keep my noise levels to an absolute minimum. This also begs the question that if my neighbor has changed then how many more people in this building have too? I could be living in a block full of those things and the only thing saving me is my front door. The thought of living with those things just inches from my front door is a sobering wake up call indeed. Its late and I need to try and get some sleep, but here is the video I captured earlier.

Day 15

I had a nice lay in this morning, slept a bit funny last night and my neck is playing up it feels a bit stiff like I chocked on a Viagra or something. You have to excuse my sense of humor I am trying anything I can to keep morale up, if you lose your sense of humor you slowly drift into depression and that is a very dangerous thing to live with in a situation like this. looking through some things I found my camcorder, lucky enough the battery is fully charged so I may actually start doing some video blogs instead of written ones just to save battery power. I swear to god I must be going mad because this morning I heard Robyn's voice, she called out my name it was clear as day. I always believed in the afterlife, not heaven or hell, nothing like that, but the soul must live on as a spiritual entity. Maybe it was Robyn telling me she had passed over okay, maybe she was telling me that she didn't blame me for stoving her pretty head in with a heavy duty torch, or just maybe I'm losing my mind and I really am hearing voices. So how am I coping with my loss? I have had a few days to think and absorb what happened and I can honesty say i feel bitter to the core. No matter what i do or what I try to think in justifying my actions I took a human life, not just any life, but the woman I have loved for over 6 years and I feel awful. All I want to do is turn myself in to the police, the guilt is eating me from the inside out.
I couldn't make a career out of being a soldier or serial killer the guilt would destroy me. I just hope that time will start to make it easier for me, I have to program my brain to accept that I have been spared for what ever reason. Why me? Why do I get to live out this nightmare when so many people in the world have perished to this disease? How come if it is an airborne virus, why haven't I contracted it? Do I have some sort of genetic immune system? You hear about these people who have something in their blood that prevents them contracting HIV, maybe I have something that protects me from catching this H5N8 Virus.
The one thing I miss the most is a cigarette, yes its true, I ran out of Golden Virginia  like 2 days ago and I am climbing the walls like a crackhead trying to get a fix. I wish I had quit with the patches, but it looks like I'm going cold turkey and its not very nice. One Thing I do get to enjoy is a bottle of homemade wine, yes I have been brewing 3 demi johns of home made red wine and I think that they should be ready to serve this weekend. I can't find a beer anywhere but tonight I drink wine. I need something to take the edge off everything that has happened, so maybe getting a bit pissed will be a great release. I am going to hold up a glass to Robyn and everyone else who I have loved and lost, cheers and good health, bottoms up.

Day 14

I cannot believe it has been 2 weeks since this whole disaster started, It doesn't seem to be getting better any time soon. I quietly laugh to myself as today I am supposed to sign on at the Job centre I can even see it from my window, the windows look bashed in so someone obviously had fun. I keep thinking that if I do not sign on I won't get paid, then reality hits and I laugh. Money is useless now, it doesn't hold any worth in this new world we live in. I think the rich learned that fact pretty quickly, finally there was nothing they could buy that would keep them safe.
I read on some Internet news site about how a group of rich guys tried to buy food and shelter from some of the poorer people and pretty much got pushed out into the hungry infected waiting for them. The irony of the story is, that money bought them power, respect and everything they wanted, but since this whole incident broke out, the poor were to a degree unaffected by it. The poor had no money and no luxuries to start with so they/we found it easier to adapt. Most of us have some kind of working trade such as building, medical or farming experience behind us which proved to be more use to the community than a rich banker or IT managing director. It all makes sense when you think about it, these bankers may be good at earning money (for themselves) using computers and generally having a strong workforce beneath them, but can they put up or repair a broken wall? can they grow food, tend wounds or use weapons?
That is why the rich are finding this life harder to survive in, because they're not worth anything to anyone and their bags of money are little more than firewood. I do not have any money and generally get by, but I also don't have anything to offer anyone else either so if I met a group of people and they told me that I had to prove my worth before they would take me in, I have no idea what I could possibly offer them. It doesn't bother me really I have always been someone who keeps to myself, I wouldn't seek refuge with other people, because I don't tend to trust people at the best of times. I have been stabbed in the back by people I call friends, I have been screwed over by power hungry people I called work friends. Trying to make friends or rely on other people while the world has fallen apart is probably worse than before. I find the only person I can trust is myself, if I screw up then it all falls on me. I am too old to deal with the group politics and the fight for domination, in the end they all fall apart and turn on each other and they all become their own worst enemies.

It has been raining I can smell the damp air mixed with blood and decay, its very unpleasant yet something I am starting to get used to. I am now all out of frozen and fridge food, so its ration time. Will try to eat once a day to keep supplies up, I may eat half a jar of peanut butter, would be nice to have it in a sandwich but the bread went mouldy last week. There is a huge bottle of orange juice so using the sink water to go with it. I just keep thinking that when I do finally go out for supplies there won't be anything left. I am too optimistic in thinking I could just walk into Asda or Sainsburys to find all the shelves neatly stacked, full just waiting for me to come and fill my basket. I will concentrate on the small stores and empty houses for my main source of supplies. My shopping list has started to get so long that I worry about how long I will be out. There is a chance that nothing on my list will show up so I need to try and keep track of time and distance. I can see the houses and streets up to a mile away, however with everything I'm faced with, they may as well be a hundred miles away over a river of fire. The Laptop has used 8% of battery power, I have used my allotted time for the day and will log off for the moment, going to keep my brain active and set up a mission plan for when I go out.

Day 13

So having no power is no fun at all, you really, really begin to appreciate every little thing we take for granted when its gone. Sitting in complete darkness at night time is a real pain, lucky I found some old candles in the drawer, I feel like we have gone back to medieval times. The toilet no longer flushes so I now need to figure a new way for waste management because If I continue to use that, its going to cause disease, as if there isn't enough going around at the moment. Looks to me like its bucket and window time from now on, very off putting. I am glad to have filled up all the sinks and bath, I now have a decent amount of drinking water to last for a while and water is more important than food as you can live longer without food.

My little kitchen BBQ went well yesterday I really enjoyed it, got a bit scared when I lit it as I really needed to keep the flames in check. I do feel that I may need to keep it simple, keep it quick because the smell and the smoke seemed to attract the infected. Looking outside now I can see a massive increase in dead wandering about down stairs. I only have a little bit of meat left so its going to keep me fed for the night. Tomorrow is all down to canned and dried food, I cannot wait.

Day 12

Well the inevitable happened the power has finally gone out, well to be more precise I have ran out of credit on the meter. It looks doubtful I can just stroll up to the shop and get a top up, so its all batteries and spare batteries from now on until I feel the need to venture on outside. Do not be surprised if my blogs are going to be short and sweet for the moment, every minute I stay online the more the battery life dies out. Unless I can find a way to charge the laptop up without using a traditional power source or even find a generator that doesn't alert every walking dead to my location I would be very happy. Most of the frozen food is nearly gone now, however what is left will most likely be eaten over the next few days. It takes a while to thaw out frozen food and I think in some cases it can survive a little while after its defrosted, so I will be having big dinners just so none of it goes to waste.
I kind of hoped the power stayed on just that little bit longer, I don't even know how I'm going to cook some of it, I have an old barbecue in the store room, looks like I am going to have a coal ignited Barbie in the kitchen with the window open, not that I can see the council sending me out warning letters, I just have to be careful not to burn the place down.

So how am I doing since Robyn died? Well I am taking each day as it comes, being alone with nobody to talk to can really test your sanity, I do miss her touch at night time, especially as she is no longer there to cuddle. I get a little down when I wake up in the morning and for one second just as my eyes open, everything seems fine, everything's normal. That second is the only thing I look forward to each morning, because as soon as it passes, reality smacks me in the face and my stomach knots up. I think I will be okay, I only have myself to keep alive and safe, I won't have to worry about carrying her too, which probably sounds selfish, yet in times like these you must think of your own survival because nobody else can help you. If you fall or are left behind then you can only rely on yourself to get back up or you won't be getting up.

Someone knocked on the door last night, I didn't bother opening it, for one it is a hassle to move the barricade I set up yesterday, but I just don't trust other people. You always see in films of this kind of situation where groups of people band together, yet there is always a weak link in the group that causes everyone else to get killed, someone tries to dominate the group and walks them towards death. You also have to consider that any other survivors you may bump into may not be there to help you. Society has broken down the law of the land no longer exists so as far as the living goes its pretty much the wild west, every man for himself.
People are free to do what they want, and that can really be a bad thing, there are no police to keep order and peace. Rapists, murderers, robbers and everyone in between are everywhere, the worst thing is these are all people who used to be good citizens, they all probably wanted to do the worst crimes thinkable, but the penalty of prison kept them in check before. The real criminals are more than likely in their elements out doing what they do best, its one reason why I want to avoid people, it only takes one person to decide they want my supplies or my flat and it really will be a fight to the death to defend it. All I own is a UK legal air rifle, a couple of kitchen knives and a few plastic BB guns. Maybe I really should look for better weapons just in case.

Well, my time is up for today, want to keep the battery up so will log back on tomorrow. Everyone else out there reading this, keep safe and protect what you have.

Day 11

It looks like such a nice day outside today. The sun is out, the temperature is pretty high and normally I would be out in a shirt and shorts, driving with the roof down and enjoying the summer heat. Going out there is suicide, unless you have automatic weapons and a plane to a deserted island. I had a look out and noticed a lot more of the infected hanging around, we live in a large town with a population well over 30,000 so the odds of avoiding that many infected is probably impossible. I have studied how they move, none of them seem to have energy or maybe the ability to run, they shuffle along like they are drunk or drugged. It looks pretty easy to walk past them without any problems, they prove to be little threat when they are scattered about on their own. They are very dangerous when in groups, if you get cornered or trapped in a room full of these things it looks doubtful you can get through them without getting bitten.
I fear that walking into town would be a bad idea, its the centre of Stevenage and probably swarming with walking dead. I was woken up by a man screaming far in the distance. You could feel his terror, it was clear as day and sent a shiver down my spine. I didn't attempt to look out the window to see where it came from, that would be another image tattooed into the back of my mind I wouldn't be able to remove, there was nothing I could do to save him anyway. Walking around out there at night time is more dangerous than in the day, he must have assumed they go to sleep at night, but they don't. They wander around endlessly all day and all night, you can just see them easier and further in the day. I'm not going out there until I really need to, I still haven't worked out how I can get out of this building and even more important how to get back inside since they barricaded us all in last week.
I miss the common sounds I used to hear, like car engines, planes people talking and general noises of the living. All I hear now is the wind, the odd distant gunshot or cry out from an unlucky soul, cornered by a group of infected and not forgetting that choir of the dead. They are calling and moaning out into the sky, its hypnotic and disturbing at the same time. The smell is now starting to affect me, the foul putrid stench of death mixed with burning smoke. The hot air is probably making the smell worse, I can't tell if its the bodies of the dead or the bodies of the infected, its not pleasant either way.

I eventually moved Robyn this morning, it took me a while to finally get into gear, the coagulated blood on the floor around her head had dried up, her hair stuck to it as I tried to lift her. I knew that I needed to be careful cleaning it up as it was very contagious. I dragged Robyn down the hall, a small piece of skull fragment fell off, that made me wretch, but I needed to be strong. It was the first time the front door had been unlocked since last week, looking through the peephole to make sure there was nothing on the other side, I finally plucked the courage to open up and peek out. The hallway was silent and clear, not a soul in sight, this was probably a benefit because I didn't want to be seen dragging a body through the hallway, it still hadn't sunk in yet. Robyn was a very heavy dead weight, I had trouble getting her to the stairwell, stopping a few times to catch my breath as I am not exactly the pinnacle of fitness. As soon as we reached the stairwell it was much easier, the slick floor was better than the rough council issue carpet of the corridor. As I dragged her down each step, her head banged hard on the cold concrete floor, I kept feeling that I was hurting her, it still hadn't become apparent to me that she no longer could feel any pain. I took her down to floor 9 it was a nice distance away from my floor so I thought it would be far enough for me not to smell her decompose. I gave her cold rigid head a kiss and made it back up to my flat.
Now I really am on my own, the loneliness started to sink in and I hadn't even recovered from Robyn's death, but there was something that kept nagging in my head, "why did she become infected? How come I haven't caught it?" Robyn hadn't gone out since we tried to go swimming last Sunday, she hadn't been bitten so how did she get ill? I soon realised that the virus must be airborne and it was only a matter of time before I breathed in the deadly viral particles, the way I am feeling at the moment I don't even care.

Day 10

Its late in the day and I haven't posted since last night, so what? I am grieving, I'm tired I'm emotional and I'm lost. Waking up this morning I found no reason to climb out of bed, no reason to eat or clean myself. I had to kill my wife who would have killed me if I hadn't reacted quickly enough. That's right I am a murderer, it doesn't matter she had turned into a zombie and was already dead. Her brain may have been the only thing which sparked a very small circuit of life throughout her body, to me she was alive and I murdered her with a maglite. Most of the day I have been sitting here in a daze, staring blankly at the closed curtains and back at the heap on the floor that resembled the former body of my Robyn. I knew pretty soon I needed to move her as the smell would be unbearable to live with let alone the hordes of flies and maggots devouring her. I just wanted to spend one more day with her, then move her out into the public corridor and drag her down a few flights of stairs to leave her to her final resting place. Its not ideal and not respectful, but its not like I can call an ambulance out to take her away. I think the thing that hurts me the most is seeing the small pool of blood formed around where her head lay, It's a constant reminder of my involvement in her demise. I keep thinking that by leaving her body outside some one is going to find it and call the police, however even if they did, nobody would come. No, the world has fallen in on itself we all are truly on our own now, its also pretty dark to think of this right now, but my rations have just doubled. Logging off for the night now, just want to spend some time alone with Robyn for one more night and contemplate what I am going to do next.

It happened, oh my god! What have I done? I should have tried harder, I should have called a doctor, tried getting her to some sort of hospital, looked harder on the Internet to see if there had been a cure, but I didn't. For the last 2 days I have been wasting time playing nurse, when I really had no clue what I was doing. She needed more than a wet flannel and some over the counter drugs, she needed real help and I just sat around and wasted her last few hours sitting over her looking helpless. My head is so lost in a sea of endless emotions, I do not even know which one to feel first. I have every single one of them from rage, fear, regret, heartbreak, upset and guilt. None of it has even sunk in yet, I know that the next day is going to be a punishment worse than death. If only there was the slightest chance that I could have done something to prevent this from happening I would have done it.

Everything happened so fast, most of the day she had been asleep, in the rare moments of being conscious she was completely out of it. About an hour ago, she woke up looking very uncomfortable and in pain. She winced at me so I rushed to her side and asked her what was wrong, she didn't seem to make much sense. "My head, the spinning, the spinning." she mumbled. I asked her if she felt like she was drunk and had the feeling that the room was spinning. She said that it wasn't the room that was spinning, it was her head, she kept calling for me, even though I was there holding her hand, she looked right at me, but stared right through me, like I wasn't there, blinded by the illness that had taken over her body. Her skin was now much darker and more bruised looking than before, her lips where dry and chapped. I held her hand, it was freezing cold, but she was sweating, I didn't feel her grip back, then she called for me again.
I told her I was right here holding her hand, I asked her to squeeze back, show me that she had some strength left. Looking around with those blind, grey, dead eyes she told me her whole body was numb, she said she couldn't feel anything, only the splitting pain deep within the center of her head. By now I was brought to tears, I felt completely useless, no matter what I did there was nothing that I could humanly do to save her. She let out a gasp, and went limp, all her life drained out of her in a second. It was at that exact moment that my heart ripped in two. I was kidding myself that I could possibly do anything to bring her back now, a tear ran down my face and I felt my stomach knot tightly, my whole world drained out of me with her. I then decided to take one last picture of the woman I loved, as soon as the camera on my phone made the delayed click before it processed the picture she came back and this is what I captured.

Within a second of her returning, the weakness and suffering from her face completely changed with rage, anger and pure evil. The virus had started its second cycle now it had taken what it needed from her living body. I looked right back into her dead stare, I no longer saw my wife, the woman I loved. She had truly gone in the remaining few seconds I had with her. Robyn was replaced with this monster who saw me as nothing more than something to devour. Everything I learnt from the news and Internet, I knew I was wasting my time trying to reason or stop her. She was filled with a new energy that had been stripped away from her up until now, the sofa had became her deathbed and she was trying to climb out of it to get to me. Knowing what I had to do, I only had one chance to do it or it was too late for me too. I reached back for the maglite we had been using to light our way round the flat at night time, I gripped it tight so tight my knuckles turned white.

I stood over her as she desperately crawled to her feet, I looked into her smokey grey eyes one last time before closing my own, I swung the torch as hard as possible and it made a loud metallic clunk noise as it crashed into her head. I pulled back and took another swing, the second was followed with a low dull crunch noise, I felt the top of her skull crack open like a boiled egg, she fell to the ground motionless, finally at peace. The last of my energy completely vanished from my body and I collapsed in a heap next to her. I saw her leg twitch and shake a few times, finally it stopped and she was gone. I lay there crying, now on my own in this destroyed world, all I kept thinking was I should die with her, but I couldn't possibly kill myself. I could be one of the last surviving people in the world, so giving in wasn't an option, gotta to be strong, live for Robyn tell my story and maybe even survive this nightmare that had plagued our world.  

Day 9

Haven't been able to post much over the last day because we heard on the radio and a few UK Internet sites that power is intermittent throughout the country. Some people are getting power, others aren't. It seems I am one of the lucky ones, we are using the laptops main battery for power, it only has a couple of hours, so we only use it sparingly. We have a spare laptop out back and even a few old phones with Internet connection so we have kept them all charged up and switched off. So even when the power does go I can still use the Internet to post here and check emergency websites that give us updates on the current situation. When our supplies run out I will keep my eyes out for laptops Phone's and anything else that can be used. I just hope looters haven't cleaned everything out. Not that it will be a problem, I'm sure I can find some food and supplies from other sources, I guess breaking and entering isn't really top of the pops as far as the law is concerned, its all about survival. I can only assume if there are any surviving police they are probably doing the same thing. It's interesting to think that It has taken hundreds of years for us to build a stable society, yet only a few days of a zombie apocalyptic virus can send us all back into the stone age.

Robyn has been getting worse, I think my fears are right, All I can do is look after her the best I can and just hope she can pull through. I really am frightened for her, I can't lose her, she is my world and without her I really have nothing to live for. If she dies I am expected to destroy her brain, well that's what the news says. We are supposed to show no emotion, no longer treat them as our friends or family as they will not react to us the same way. They cannot be bargained or reasoned with, if you hesitate or do not act immediately, they will attack and kill you. My Robyn couldn't hurt a fly, she is so delicate and peaceful, I couldn't think of her turning that way. For me to be expected to pick up a weapon and use it to kill her, I am not a killer I am not violent or get into fights, how could I bring myself to do it? How could I live with myself afterwards? If I am put into a position where I have to do what is needed I  must try to tell myself that she is already dead, her soul and everything she once was is gone, all I would be doing is killing the shell, the body. What am I talking about? this is crazy, I can't even contemplate thinking about this anymore it's messing with my head. I took some more pictures of her progress, It really doesn't look good.

This one was taken yesterday afternoon. She was in and out of consciousness, barely able to talk and kept complaining of feeling sick and having a terrible headache.

These were taken this morning. Her skin has turn grey, slightly transparent and blotchy, it looks like she has bruising all over her, like she has gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. Her face has sunk and her eye cavity is more visible, the coloring around her eyes has darkened and her actual eyes look glazed. Shes looking but not seeing, its as if she is in a completely different world. I tried to talk to her, she answers, but doesn't seem to be with it. She called out something earlier, but it didn't make any sense, complete word salad. If she makes it through another night I will be blessed, I fear she won't but I am going to mentally prepare myself for when it happens.
It's not like I have anything else to do. My time involves reading books, peeking outside and generally caring for Robyn with what little medical things I have. I am going to have some peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, I think the bread is a day away from going mouldy, I may be able to make it last a little longer by picking off the mould and eating the bread anyway, after all desperate times call for desperate measures.

Day 8

Sitting in darkness all night with nothing but the distant sounds of the infected moaning and shuffling along outside is a very frightening and worrying thought. You can never rest or try to ignore them, its like they are calling out to you, chanting in a choir of the dead. I heard movement in the flat below us so I assume we are not alone. The thought that others are still alive with us makes it easier to endure the endless boredom we all have to put up with. You really only appreciate the little things when they are gone. Looking out the window, seeing all the fire and smoke you just wonder when the fire brigade is going to turn up, it soon comes back to reality that all emergency services are gone. Our freedom is gone, pretty soon the power will go and everything else we rely on will also be gone. We have all became slaves to luxury and technology, even to the point where it rules our lives. When it all gets taken away and the lights go out, it doesn't take long before most people turn primitive, dangerous and unpredictable.

The wife isn't doing to well, she started to get ill last night. She has a bit of a fever is complaining of headaches, and spent most of the day asleep. If only it was easy enough to just call a doctor out, but again relying on things that no longer exist is something that is hard to get used to. The idea of being isolated and having to rely on only yourself is a huge weight to bear. I am just hoping its a general illness and not what I fear it could be. I am keeping a close eye on her, caring and making sure shes okay. I took a pic, I hope she gets better soon I couldn't bear to lose her, in fact I don't even think I could do what is needed if she changes.

I am starting to get a little stir crazy at the moment, just being in this flat all day every day with limited entertainment is starting to get me down. I do worry that we have a lot longer to wait before we see some sort of end to this escapade. The fact that the army are none existent seems to put a finer point on it, well they are still about, but they have now joined the ranks of the infected and are no longer on our side. I did have a little thought, Britain is so anti guns, the only people in this country who even own anything worth fighting with are farmers, armed police and the army. If I stand any chance of surviving on the outside when the time comes to leave, the first thing I need to do is find a dead copper or soldier and loot his body for weapons. The infected do not seem to have any use for them, their intelligence is very limited at best and apart from looking for living they don't seem to be bothered with weapons or anything else. Rationing is no fun at all, I can certainly appreciate everything my nan and grandad had to go through during the war, I have looked at everything we have and it looks like the food can last for about two to three weeks. We are eating the frozen and fridge food first, simply because the power could go at any time and we would rather save the tinned stuff last.

I took a picture out the bedroom window and although it looks like a nice warm sunny day, it would be absolutely dangerous to step outside. There were a few of them wandering about, looks like one of them was having his dinner.

Didn't want to hang around the window for too long just in case one of them decided to look up and then make it his mission to get in. I couldn't help thinking the hundreds of other survivors in this building didn't have the common sense to stay away from the windows too. I just kept imagining the brain dead chavs throwing things out the window at them or trying to take pot shots with his under powered air rifle and generally shouting abuse like its actually going to make a difference. Yes I don't have much faith in humanity, but if theres anything I have learnt in the past is that theres nothing more stupid than the general public.

Day 7

So it's been a week since this all started, If I had paid more attention earlier I may have been more prepared for it all. It seemed i was the only one living under a rock even to the point where I was wandering around in a ghost town not knowing why I was the only person outside. What difference would it have made if I had known earlier? I couldn't go anywhere, about 8 million people all got the same idea to jump in their cars and flee to other infected parts of Britain, only to get impossibly jammed on the M25 or A1. Lets think logically for a second, If I did have somewhere to run away to unless it was a submarine, prison or bunker, then there really isn't anywhere safer than where I am now. I don't even think the people who jumped into their cars knew where they were going either, in fact they just made it easier for the infected to get to them. A car stuck in the middle of 6 million cars front and back doesn't really provide you with much protection in the long run, especially if you are miles away from home when you get stranded. The intelligence of the general public can test humanity to the brink sometimes and that's without a threat to mankind.

It is completely dead outside right now, in more ways than one. The army look to have lost the battle, because there is no more fighting, no more bombing, gunfire or explosions. The burning buildings from yesterday have been put out from last nights rainfall, only charred, burnt and destroyed brickwork remains as evidence of a previous structure. The infected are roaming everywhere, it is hypnotic watching them pointlessly shuffle around from behind my curtains. Its a creepy sight, watching these people who have now became a shadow of their former selves, they have no purpose, no meaning. I don't even think they know they are dead, In fact I don't even think they have any awareness or living soul left. They are running purely on instinct, the only motor that drives their existence is food. I do not know why they only attack the living and not each other, they must have some sort of sense that can distinguish between the two. A bite is all it takes to follow in their path, it is a frightening thought, but I gotta stay strong, think positive and lose my reliance on technology and modern luxuries. I have to somehow dig out that old barbarian animal survival instinct that evolution and modern day society has drained away from me. First I need some rest, my eyes are constantly stinging like someone poured salt and petrol into them, only a feeling you'll know when you haven't had sleep for more than their bodies can handle. I need to stay focused and alert, being tired all the time will not help me out in the long run. Will post later. 

I am happy to say we are still here. I haven't had no sleep all night and I'm absolutely exhausted. 48 hours of endless bombing, shooting and general worry of not knowing if we are going to die or not. I am so tired I can't even think straight, I swear to god I heard my dads voice and he's been dead since 2002. All the gunfire and bombing slowed to a halt by 8am this morning. I am hope the army have now gained control and eliminated most of the infected. The ghostly silence doesn't help judge the situation and the intoxicating smell of burned concrete, oil and god knows what else is really irritating my senses. I tried looking out the window only to see thick plumes of black smoke, demolished buildings and general destruction. This used to be my home, now its a wasteland. Last week everything was fine, we all went about our day and lived our lives in the boring routine we always followed. Within a matter of 5 days microscopic living virus cells had turned the world upside down. The phones are completely dead, I can't find out if my mum, sister or any of my friends are still alive. I don't even want to think about that right now, its better not knowing than sitting in what is now our prison cells with nothing but our thoughts to drive us. I have to keep my mind active, keep positive and preserve whatever supplies we have.

I thought the bath and sinks probably might not be enough, we still have running water so I also filled up any bucket, mixing bowl or container that could hold enough water to last longer if we have to wait. Food is going to be our main problem, the majority of food is frozen or refrigerated. If we stocked up on canned or ready to eat food it would have made it a lot easier, but how can we prepare for something like this? As soon as we knew what was happening we were told to barricade ourselves indoors. Going to try and get some sleep now, I have a migraine that I just can't shift and it has to be down to lack of sleep. Will be back to update later on tonight.

Day 6

So The fight continues again into the 2nd night. All we can do is sit tight and hope we don't get taken out by a stray mortar shell. Managed to capture another video, trying to save battery in case of a real emergency. Just as I am explaining what is going on a shell hit the car park downstairs, just missing our building by only a few feet. The whole tower shook and I thought it was going to come down. I have never been so scared in all m life, my body took a huge adrenaline hit and I think I almost soiled my pants. I may look calm in this video, but I can assure you I am literally shaking. With everything that's going on I am actually considering getting the hell out of here and trying to see how my chances are outside. Robyn convinced me to stay indoors. Its probably no safer outside than it is in here, but you roll the dice and deal with what you are given.

Heres The Video

We are going to hide in the middle room of our flat now, Its not perfect, but may give us better protection from any hits to the building. I have no idea how the army progress is going, I don't know if the infected are losing or winning, I just hope the military aren't the end of us. Update coming later if we survive a second night of this.

The Town

Just logged on to post some updates. The army have been busy throughout the daytime. Every now and again we hear some machine gun fire, local websites have reported that the hospital had to be completely bombed by fighter planes as the area was far too dangerous to handle by soldiers. Even after it went down, the infected were still crawling in the area. How could you ever imagine our own military bombing a hospital in its own country? its unthinkable, unimaginable, just wrong. Things have gone quiet for the moment, we tried to cover our windows up, but I managed to get a couple of pics.

This one is a bit blurry, there was an explosion that made me jump just as I took the picture, my camera phone is bad enough when you take a still photograph. Anyhow, the main building in the pic is the old Multi story car park. Looks like it was a victim of mortar shells, Our window nearly came through when they hit, felt like it hit our building. You can see some Chinook Helicopters in the distance, not sure where they are going, but seeing them means we still have an army to fight with.

This building is High Plash, its the block next to us. I just hope They manage to put those fires out, the poor bastards are probably locked inside like we are. We seem to be lucky so far, nothings hit us and there are no signs of infected breaching the barricade. All we can do now is wait, just hope the army hold out long enough to get this thing under control. I wonder if we will be evacuated or left here to die.

Day 5

So we somehow made it through the night. We probably got about an hours sleep, but how could we rest when we could hear the town being shot, bombed and pretty much raised to the ground? We live in a 17 story tower block, its one of the highest buildings in the town, at any moment we could have been hit with stray bullets, mortars and god knows what. We were informed early last night that downstairs had been securely shut and barricaded. I just feel lucky that we only did our shopping a few days ago so that should keep our supplies up for a while. My Wife (Robyn) is absolutely petrified, and I have to somehow keep strong for the both of us. We came to the agreement that we must ration our food carefully, the bath and all sinks have been filled with water. Call me paranoid, but If the water and electric get cut I like to know I still have a good supply of drinking water. I haven't been out to check the barricade, however I am told the lifts have been switched off and the front door has been boarded shut. As a secondary measure the ground floor stairs have been removed. It makes me feel a lot safer knowing that, because even if those infected do somehow get in, they won't make it very far. On the flipside if there is a fire or the building gets hit by something we will all burn to death in here. Logging off now as our electricity is a pay meter and I don't want to waste it, when it goes that's it, no power no lighting and no hot food. Will update later on if the building is still standing.

Just so i'm not Crazy

Okay, Just woke up and things haven't got any better, I was awoken by what sounded like a firework. Looking out my window I could clearly see in the distance tracer fire, muzzle flashes and what looked like bombs hitting buildings in the town. I am not joking, its like a bad day in Baghdad out there, its no longer on the news its proper outside my house. Just found my camcorder, it only has a little bit of power left, but I managed to video whats on TV at the moment...

...So there you have it. The only Channels I had working was BBC 1 and CNN USA. As soon as I opened my window at the end of that news report you could clearly hear the distant gunfire, it really is getting scary around here. Nobody has come around to evacuate us yet. We are all being told to stay inside, lock our doors and keep lights off to avoid alerting infected.

Its Gone Crazy

Right, okay, either somehow I am living in the real version of night of the living dead or someone has spiked my drink with LSD or something. What the hell is going on? Been glued to the TV all day and it seems this new Virus kills anybody infected within 24 hours, then they come back to life. I am a man of science and from what I remember in biology class, dead people can't return to life. It gets worse, not only do they come back, but they then attack anybody who isn't infected and start munching them. The dead infected carry the virus in their bites, so it passes on to the next host and the cycle starts all over again. Its proper zombie movie craziness, but FUCKING REAL!!! I went out this morning not knowing that the prime minister had issued the country with a compulsary 24 housebound curfew. Anybody found wandering the street was to be shot on sight. I didn't know any of this and there I was, walking down the road this morning like a prize knob with a frikkin bullseye on the back of my head. By some luck the army hadn't made it into Stevenage yet and half of the armed police where down at the hospital blowing holes in the heads of recently deceased patients that woke up with a rumbly tummy. I need to have a lay down, hopefully when I wake up this would all have been some date rape drug hullucination.

Day 4

I left my flat today and was greeted with this cheerful sign in the main lobby of our building...

So yeah I think its our local council going all Health & safety stupid on us as here in the UK everything is political correct and over the top. So I get to the main front door and again...

I have to say with all the previous bird and swine flu's going around, I have never seen signs like this before I am starting to think it must be pretty serious. I planned to go into town to get a few bits and from seeing these signs thought it may also be a good idea to invest in one of those face masks you see builders wearing. Then things started to get really strange. As soon as I walked outside I immediately noticed it was deathly quiet. I mean its a Monday morning and not a single sound. After looking down the end of my street, there was absolutely nothing. Took a pic of my street, please bear in mind, this is a busy dangerous road...

Not convinced? Look at the pics of my town center, not a single shop open and no soul in sight. Either this is Christmas day or everyone knows something I don't which is most likely as I don't tend to watch TV much, I mainly watch DVDs or the rare TV programme every now and again...

I then decided to get home pretty sharpish. The whole city is a ghost town and I seem to be the only person outside. I then started to get a really bad feeling in my gut. Its probably time for me to start paying attention to the news and find out what the hell is going on around here.

Officially F**ked off now. got to the front door of the swimming pool and was met by this sign...

There are officially no jobs going in this country but you just can't get the staff where they are needed. I appreciate this is probably down to health and safety because 20 lifeguards need to be on duty at any one time, but seriously I just hate it when you have plans and something like this happens. Maybe they all have bird flu and all called in sick.

Went to the lakes for the day instead and for a Sunday it seemed very quiet, I was surprised, the lakes are usually packed at the weekends, even on rainy days. Just look at this, very odd.

Absolutely nobody about, for anyone who doesn't know the area then let me tell you, the lakes are NEVER this quiet. I had a late night, the beer mixed with Jack Baur and his little silenced pistol followed by a few hours strolling around a deserted lake had worn me out. bit tired today so going to have an early night I think, after all I got a whole load of jobs to look for tomorrow that I probably already applied for about a dozen times in the last few months.