Day 12

Well the inevitable happened the power has finally gone out, well to be more precise I have ran out of credit on the meter. It looks doubtful I can just stroll up to the shop and get a top up, so its all batteries and spare batteries from now on until I feel the need to venture on outside. Do not be surprised if my blogs are going to be short and sweet for the moment, every minute I stay online the more the battery life dies out. Unless I can find a way to charge the laptop up without using a traditional power source or even find a generator that doesn't alert every walking dead to my location I would be very happy. Most of the frozen food is nearly gone now, however what is left will most likely be eaten over the next few days. It takes a while to thaw out frozen food and I think in some cases it can survive a little while after its defrosted, so I will be having big dinners just so none of it goes to waste.
I kind of hoped the power stayed on just that little bit longer, I don't even know how I'm going to cook some of it, I have an old barbecue in the store room, looks like I am going to have a coal ignited Barbie in the kitchen with the window open, not that I can see the council sending me out warning letters, I just have to be careful not to burn the place down.

So how am I doing since Robyn died? Well I am taking each day as it comes, being alone with nobody to talk to can really test your sanity, I do miss her touch at night time, especially as she is no longer there to cuddle. I get a little down when I wake up in the morning and for one second just as my eyes open, everything seems fine, everything's normal. That second is the only thing I look forward to each morning, because as soon as it passes, reality smacks me in the face and my stomach knots up. I think I will be okay, I only have myself to keep alive and safe, I won't have to worry about carrying her too, which probably sounds selfish, yet in times like these you must think of your own survival because nobody else can help you. If you fall or are left behind then you can only rely on yourself to get back up or you won't be getting up.

Someone knocked on the door last night, I didn't bother opening it, for one it is a hassle to move the barricade I set up yesterday, but I just don't trust other people. You always see in films of this kind of situation where groups of people band together, yet there is always a weak link in the group that causes everyone else to get killed, someone tries to dominate the group and walks them towards death. You also have to consider that any other survivors you may bump into may not be there to help you. Society has broken down the law of the land no longer exists so as far as the living goes its pretty much the wild west, every man for himself.
People are free to do what they want, and that can really be a bad thing, there are no police to keep order and peace. Rapists, murderers, robbers and everyone in between are everywhere, the worst thing is these are all people who used to be good citizens, they all probably wanted to do the worst crimes thinkable, but the penalty of prison kept them in check before. The real criminals are more than likely in their elements out doing what they do best, its one reason why I want to avoid people, it only takes one person to decide they want my supplies or my flat and it really will be a fight to the death to defend it. All I own is a UK legal air rifle, a couple of kitchen knives and a few plastic BB guns. Maybe I really should look for better weapons just in case.

Well, my time is up for today, want to keep the battery up so will log back on tomorrow. Everyone else out there reading this, keep safe and protect what you have.