Day 9

Haven't been able to post much over the last day because we heard on the radio and a few UK Internet sites that power is intermittent throughout the country. Some people are getting power, others aren't. It seems I am one of the lucky ones, we are using the laptops main battery for power, it only has a couple of hours, so we only use it sparingly. We have a spare laptop out back and even a few old phones with Internet connection so we have kept them all charged up and switched off. So even when the power does go I can still use the Internet to post here and check emergency websites that give us updates on the current situation. When our supplies run out I will keep my eyes out for laptops Phone's and anything else that can be used. I just hope looters haven't cleaned everything out. Not that it will be a problem, I'm sure I can find some food and supplies from other sources, I guess breaking and entering isn't really top of the pops as far as the law is concerned, its all about survival. I can only assume if there are any surviving police they are probably doing the same thing. It's interesting to think that It has taken hundreds of years for us to build a stable society, yet only a few days of a zombie apocalyptic virus can send us all back into the stone age.

Robyn has been getting worse, I think my fears are right, All I can do is look after her the best I can and just hope she can pull through. I really am frightened for her, I can't lose her, she is my world and without her I really have nothing to live for. If she dies I am expected to destroy her brain, well that's what the news says. We are supposed to show no emotion, no longer treat them as our friends or family as they will not react to us the same way. They cannot be bargained or reasoned with, if you hesitate or do not act immediately, they will attack and kill you. My Robyn couldn't hurt a fly, she is so delicate and peaceful, I couldn't think of her turning that way. For me to be expected to pick up a weapon and use it to kill her, I am not a killer I am not violent or get into fights, how could I bring myself to do it? How could I live with myself afterwards? If I am put into a position where I have to do what is needed I  must try to tell myself that she is already dead, her soul and everything she once was is gone, all I would be doing is killing the shell, the body. What am I talking about? this is crazy, I can't even contemplate thinking about this anymore it's messing with my head. I took some more pictures of her progress, It really doesn't look good.

This one was taken yesterday afternoon. She was in and out of consciousness, barely able to talk and kept complaining of feeling sick and having a terrible headache.

These were taken this morning. Her skin has turn grey, slightly transparent and blotchy, it looks like she has bruising all over her, like she has gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. Her face has sunk and her eye cavity is more visible, the coloring around her eyes has darkened and her actual eyes look glazed. Shes looking but not seeing, its as if she is in a completely different world. I tried to talk to her, she answers, but doesn't seem to be with it. She called out something earlier, but it didn't make any sense, complete word salad. If she makes it through another night I will be blessed, I fear she won't but I am going to mentally prepare myself for when it happens.
It's not like I have anything else to do. My time involves reading books, peeking outside and generally caring for Robyn with what little medical things I have. I am going to have some peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, I think the bread is a day away from going mouldy, I may be able to make it last a little longer by picking off the mould and eating the bread anyway, after all desperate times call for desperate measures.