Day 10

Its late in the day and I haven't posted since last night, so what? I am grieving, I'm tired I'm emotional and I'm lost. Waking up this morning I found no reason to climb out of bed, no reason to eat or clean myself. I had to kill my wife who would have killed me if I hadn't reacted quickly enough. That's right I am a murderer, it doesn't matter she had turned into a zombie and was already dead. Her brain may have been the only thing which sparked a very small circuit of life throughout her body, to me she was alive and I murdered her with a maglite. Most of the day I have been sitting here in a daze, staring blankly at the closed curtains and back at the heap on the floor that resembled the former body of my Robyn. I knew pretty soon I needed to move her as the smell would be unbearable to live with let alone the hordes of flies and maggots devouring her. I just wanted to spend one more day with her, then move her out into the public corridor and drag her down a few flights of stairs to leave her to her final resting place. Its not ideal and not respectful, but its not like I can call an ambulance out to take her away. I think the thing that hurts me the most is seeing the small pool of blood formed around where her head lay, It's a constant reminder of my involvement in her demise. I keep thinking that by leaving her body outside some one is going to find it and call the police, however even if they did, nobody would come. No, the world has fallen in on itself we all are truly on our own now, its also pretty dark to think of this right now, but my rations have just doubled. Logging off for the night now, just want to spend some time alone with Robyn for one more night and contemplate what I am going to do next.