Day 39

Its been a few days since I posted so I thought I would pop on and keep you updated, I really think I'm starting to go insane, I read the end of my last post and seemed to be out of it completely. I said that I had to go because Robyn needed us to go shopping and I wanted some smoked salmon for dinner. I definitely know that was a past memory because the very last time we went shopping was when we bought salmon, and I even mentioned it in a blog post right at the beginning of the outbreak. This is really getting me concerned because if I have no control over these memory take overs then they can be very dangerous for me to live with on my own in this current world of the dead. What worries me the most is that when my mind goes off into one of these memory mind locks, I don't actually know what is happening to me in the real world. For instance in my memory I am making a cup of tea in the kitchen, but what am I really doing? I could be drinking bleach, making the bed while wearing underpants on my head, god knows what. The worst thing is that I have no way of treating myself or seeking help to get this sorted. Being left on my own with a questionable mental condition is very worrying, and the fact I have no self control really scares the hell out of me.
That said Robyn hasn't made any more visits other than the two the other day, so trying my best to keep my mind active and keeping my spirits up. The better stimulated my mind is, hopefully the less chance my brain decides to start messing with me and presenting things I don't need right now.

The supplies side of things is starting to get low, wish I saved that Jack Daniels, and the fizzy drinks have all gone. its back to blackcurrant cordial and month old bath water. We are running out of crisps and pork scratchings, but Robyn doesn't like pork scratchings so that is one little thing I get to enjoy without sharing. I may have to take a trip out soon, to get more stuff, I still have the gun I found on those dead soldiers so at least I will be better protected, I will check somewhere different the next time. The zombie activity outside has declined over the last few weeks, looks like everyone who got infected at the start of all this has started to rot so badly that they have wasted away. So I guess in a way, so long as any remaining survivors are smart, we can all just sit tight and wait it out and before we know it the first wave of zombies will eventually fade out killing the spread of the infection with it. The only way this thing will continue to live is if fresh people are infected each day, because the more people that get infected from this point on, means it will take longer for the rest of us to wait it out. I just hope that at this stage the only people who are left alive are those who are competent enough to stay alive and uninfected. You can't get this far without being smart and well defended. So with that little thought in my mind I guess you could say I finally have some hope that there could be an end to this.