Day 95

Tension has started to rise since the incident on Sunday, Steve has started acting like a cornered rodent, trying to prove he is okay and that I don't need to worry. He keeps his arm wrapped up in tea towels because we have no bandages, didn't think to stock up on any when looking for food before, every now and again the towel will expose the wound, made worse from the metal sponge he used to shed skin and meat away in his cleaning frenzy. It looked infected, but was impossible to tell if it was infected from the disease or the fact it had been made worse when Steve tried to scrub out any trace of the bite. I didn't want to rock the boat by mentioning it to him, I wanted to make him feel like I believed he was okay, and that I thought he was safe.
I had to, at the end of the day he has nothing more to lose, I knew he believed he was infected you could see it in his eyes, but if I hinted even a little bit I knew too, who knows what he was capable of. There is nothing more dangerous than a man with a life countdown and nothing to lose, the last thing I need is him trying to kill me or exposing our position to any other zombies, so I just have to bide my time and stay alert. I have noticed he has developed a cough, he tries to hide it of course, but its not really that possible to do that for long. I remember Robyn had a cough, I never paid attention to it at first or even noticed it, because back then I was blind to what was going on outside. I woke up to Steve heaving in the shit bucket, he was doing it in the kitchen with the door closed, he thought I was asleep, but how could I sleep when I had a potential monster growing in my flat with me? While he is here I don't think I will be able to sleep again, I can't kick him out, not only is that the worst thing to do as he is still alive, kicking him out to the snarling dead waiting, but I know if I tried to use force it could end up going bad. I keep the pistol with me at all times, I even removed the clip and hid it so if he decided to try and suddenly kill me, it wouldn't be in the form of a bullet. There are enough make shift weapons around the house anyway, however I wouldn't want to go out with a cold round to the head when my guard was down. Pretty soon he will start to lose colour in his face and start to show advanced effects of infection, this will be impossible to hide, he will know this and that is what I am worried about, he will no longer believe that I think he is fine, he will know I'm lying. I think I have 2 maybe 3 days at a push before I may have to make a choice.
I am just trying to keep everything under control, it is also nice to have some food inside me, home grown fruit and vegetables do taste different to the ones in the shop, but I didn't care I could feel the energy fill back up again. I need to try and eat as much as possible because I fear I will need all my strength in the upcoming days.